I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
