it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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