Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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