Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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