tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
