All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
