it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
