I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize