Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
