Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
