Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
