the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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