so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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