I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
