see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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