Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
