I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i out mim tonsoeep
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