brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
