Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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