how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
