he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
