That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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