i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
