Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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