Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
