I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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