I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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