So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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