saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
