oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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