I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
