I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
