Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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