It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
