I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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