So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
