My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
