i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
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My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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