I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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