Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
time to smoke my breakfast
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
