wanna go halves on a baby?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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