9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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