as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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