Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
