Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
