smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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