it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
