I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize