You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I need moral support for this bender
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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