I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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