Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
