I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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