Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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