Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We left the knife in your bed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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