she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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